Day 152 of 365 Days of Mindfulness Mastery
by Tawnya Love
August 2nd, 2018
This post is dedicated to anyone experiencing pain or dealing with anyone who’s experiencing pain. 💗🙏💗
May this wisdom Illuminate & Enlighten!
I have experienced some pretty intense interactions with hurting humans on my life’s journey. Did I deserve their attack? Hell no. Did their choice to lash out and attack have anything to do with me? Hell no. You see, when a human is in deep pain they are often unconscious of that pain festering inside of them.
When a human has created a habit of stuffing down their pain, numbing their pain and ignoring their pain, well it’s only a matter of time before they blow up. When a human blows up it’s not always directed at any one particular person. They could blow up on anyone that happens to cross their path at that particular moment. We must have the wisdom and presence to know how to handle a situation like this in such a way that we do not add to their pain or entangle ourselves within their pain, as this will only create more pain within ourselves.
I’ve had several clients, family members and even Facebook friends reach out to me in need of clarity and understanding on how to transform their own pain as well as how to deal with others when they unconsciously lash out. I hope this awareness helps you as much as it has me in my own life.
The first step is to understand that if you’re in a space of pain, it is not wrong. So often we judge ourselves when we are in pain. We have distorted beliefs that say we are not measuring up if we are in pain, we’re not perfect in some way. We ask ourselves, “What’s wrong with me?” Recognize that this is a false belief system that is keeping you entangled in your pain and is not helping you release it.
It’s important to release our judgements in regards to any pain we are experiencing if we desire to move beyond the pain. What holds us and entangles us in the pain is when we use pain to make ourselves feel judged in a less than or inferior way. I’ll just say, It’s not helpful.
Know that when we are experiencing pain, we are spiritually moving through a stage of powerful spiritual evolution. When we feel pain it is our physical body’s signal of an unexpected change that is currently in progress. It’s how our body acknowledges unexpected change that it is in progress, so that we are aware of it. Second, realize that the pain is supporting us in knowing that the most advanced level of spiritual transformation is underway–which is pretty bad-ass if you go with it, right?
We as spiritual beings in a physical form grow and evolve when we focus upon learning new lessons in our life. What we must clear is the judgment that there is something wrong with us if we’re learning something new. Where did we learn such a distortion?
Pain is simply a signal of new lessons our spirit is ready to learn and move through. Pain is Not our enemy, it is a helpful friend encouraging growth and transformation. It’s also important that when we encounter hurting humans that are in pain (often they may be unconscious to their pain), that we simply observe and notice that they are in pain and perhaps unaware. There is no need to judge them, argue with them or attack them. When we lash out in return it only drags our energy down with theirs and we become two wounded egos wrestling for energy. Not helpful!
Realize that, “The pain I feel is evidence that I am on a profound path of growth and transformation, this is a sacred moment and opportunity for me.” Allow this to be your new focal point when you become aware of inner pain. Connect with the energy of pain within, feel it completely, listen to what it is trying to communicate to you.
Many of my clients relate to this analogy, imagine you have a baby. And you’ve placed your baby in a dark bedroom to sleep, your baby suddenly wakes up and starts whimpering. You ignore the whimpers. Then your baby starts crying, you go and shut the door. Your baby starts to cry louder, you put in earplugs. Then your baby starts screaming at the top of their lungs. You run out of the house. This technique clearly isn’t helping to calm the baby, right? Think of the baby as representing your pain. Our pain starts out as a subtle whimper, and it grows louder and louder and louder, until it gets our attention. That baby (pain) wants your attention, it wants you to connect with it, to nurture it and Love it. And if you keep ignoring your pain it’s going to really wreak havoc in your life. Can you see this?
Now think of the ways we very intelligent humans begin bad habits in regards to dealing with our pain. We hold belief systems and tell ourselves things like, “I’m tough I can handle this” or “I don’t need anyone, I’m not weak” or maybe “crying is for wusses, I’m a man!” let’s just say we humans are pretty freaking creative when it comes to bullshitting ourselves through our chosen distorted beliefs, right?
Many hurting humans will stuff that pain way down deep in such ways that society celebrate with them. For example, let’s say you’re a workaholic, you work and work and slave away. You may even win fancy titles and awards for your workaholic addiction. You may even manifest a lot of money and external success, but if this life you’ve created is created upon an addiction and pain, it is only a matter of time before this hurting human cracks and that pain finds a way out.
Or what if we manifest a chemical addiction as a way to numb ourselves from feeling and dealing with our pain? These are the hurting humans that fill their physical bodies with toxins and poisons as a means of “trying” to escape their pain. It doesn’t matter how many years your physical body can survive your toxic abuse, You are going to face that pain one day and ohh baby, is that baby going to be fucking screaming at you.
You see we cannot escape our pain. I speak the truth here, we can try to escape our pain, we can prolong the suffering, we can survive in toxin filled bodies for a while, we can starve ourselves, or cut ourselves, or even go as far as killing our physical body. But in the end that pain is going to be waiting for us to face it and deal with it. So from an expanded perspective, doesn’t it make logical sense for us to face our pain today? To finally drop our walls and connect with our suppressed emotions? What’s interesting is that hurting humans who fear facing their pain quickly realize that the fear and the avoidance caused their greatest suffering and not the pain itself. The way I see it there is great power, courage and efficiency in facing our pain Now.
We must also clear the beliefs that our pain means we aren’t any longer Divine, Infinite Perfect beings. Nothing can ever disconnect us from our Divinity, especially not our helpful friend pain. Therefore, if pain shows up we must make a commitment to no longer judge ourselves (or others that we observe are in pain) because of it. By offering ourselves Love and compassion we move through the pain rather than attaching, entangling and identifying ourselves with it. So becoming Conscious of our pain is an excellent choice, not something to avoid or be ashamed of and deny.
With my clients I offer Self-Love shift exercises by connecting with and offering our heart & solar plexus compassion, so that our wounded hurting self can be seen, heard, honored and Loved. Tapping on the heart and solar plexus as you tune-in and acknowledge the pain. We can allow the pain to take away everything we no longer need, we can work with our pain rather than going against it. FEEL it completely, honor it completely. And this energy of pain will move through and beyond you with ease and power, teaching you all it came to teach.
There is only the Light and Love of Divine Perfection. Always. It’s important to remind ourselves of this Divine Truth, especially when we feel vulnerable or challenged in some way. Nothing, I repeat Nothing can disconnect us from our divinity. Though we as hurting humans may do our best to pinch ourselves off form Source Oneness and live under the illusion that we are now separate and unworthy. What games we play!
What if we shift our perspective that all is Light and Love and Divine, no matter how dark life can show up for us? From this perspective we begin to align with and call forth a world where we see that all is Divinity. You become the shift of Love regardless of anything else out there that may show up in your life movie. We can choose to remain focused upon the Light, Love and Divine Perfection at all times. That is a choice.
With this choice we return to the Light that we are One with, we open up that hose that always connects us to our Source. We remember to have faith and know that we are loved, regardless of any pain that may arise in our experience. We remember that we are Divine and so is everyone else. We no longer get caught up in the roles that the characters in our lives play, we remember that all is Divine.
It’s important that we release our fear of pain and know that no one can ever again use pain against us in order to manipulate our Light. So become friends with your pain rather than viewing it as an enemy that must be annihilated or avoided. Welcome pain, remembering that it is here to liberate you and lift you to knowing more of who you truly are and who you’re becoming, a Divine and Perfect Being. Love the shit out of yourself through your experience with pain, celebrate it and you will move through it gracefully and consciously.
Look at your experience of pain as an invitation to return to and align with Faith and Surrendered Trust again, which is our most aligned state. Remembering your Oneness with life, and with Source God and that you are always Divine!!!
We can recognize that people are only depressed because they are attempting to avoid and distract themselves from their pain. Hurting humans are only sad because they are afraid to deal with and face their pain.
Choose to make peace with your pain and you will realign with the peace and Light that you are one with. Know that hurting humans who lash out and act out are simply unconscious of the deep pain within themselves, it’s not personal. We as observers may clearly see the pain they are in far before they will allow themselves to see what that pain is creating, chaos within themselves.
Realize that hurting humans are only acting out because they are in pain and are unconscious of it. We never need to take this behavior personally. Simply acknowledge “this human is in pain” and it will free you from entangling yourself in that pain. You free yourself with your Awareness, Love and Compassion.
If you find yourself in the presence of a hurting human that is lashing out, being cruel, judgmental and unloving… Simply remind yourself, “This human is in pain and doesn’t know it.” This will instantly remove you from their energy field of pain. Say within yourself, “I’m so sorry you’re in pain, you are Loved” and this will shift the energy. Observe this for yourself its very powerful.
When another human lashes out and attacks you, know that they are seeking relief from the pain they are unconscious of that is within them. Again, it’s not personal. When this hurting human can cause a painful reaction in you they will feel temporarily distracted away from their own pain. Simply acknowledge within yourself, “This human is in pain and doesn’t know it. They are Love.” Move away from their energy field if necessary or whatever your intuition guides you to do. They will become more conscious and then have to face and deal with their own pain. Hopefully with Love and Compassion.
Release the need to attack or lash out in response to another’s attack, or to justify yourself in any way. There’s no need to argue with an unconscious hurting human, simply acknowledge their pain and observe things shift.
As sensitive and empathic souls we may experience more energetic attacks from hurting humans because at an energetic level these hurting humans can sense our awareness and compassion, and they are crying out to us for relief from their own pain. They come to us for help. Our acknowledgement is powerful in regards to a transformation out of pain and unconsciousness. It’s important that we don’t start judging ourselves as flawed in some way because of our sensitivity and awareness. But rather that we use our Super Power “Love” to assist in diffusing and acknowledging the pain with Love and Compassion. Love is all we need!
When you observe someone close to you lashing out or a stranger who’s lashing out at another, allow yourself to energetically acknowledge their pain with Love and Compassion. Holding this awareness in your heart, mind and energy field, simply think, “I’m so sorry for the pain you’re experiencing, I’ve also felt pain and at times I’ve also lashed out because I was so afraid to acknowledge my own pain. I Love You.”
Imagine a world where we all began to remember our Divinity and Perfection once again. A world where we remembered that the highest response to our own pain as well as the pain within others was Love, Compassion and Acknowledgment. Can you imagine such a world? To experience such a world as Gandhi expressed so beautifully, We must BE the change we are seeking in the world!
Namaste Tawnya Love 💗🙏💗
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